I just created this blog because my life has too much going on that you need to know about and that I want to tell you about. After my most recent happenings today which involved forfeiting all credit for this quarter of school because I had an awful math grade, and did not find out about the drop date for classes until that date had passed. I decided that it was time to write about such things that happen in my life, in the hope that it would allow me to get over my fits of anger that often involve throwing phones, swearing, and hitting walls. I see this as a constructive way to get out what happens around me, whether it is frustrating or hilarious I figure this is the best way to show you all. This is what I have from today. It was done quickly and angrily, and since I have never written a Blog, it was done amateurly. Just so you know I have no intentions of using complete sentences in this blog, or being politically correct. It's not me, never has been, and never will. Thanks
Just thought I might add this lovely little beat, I think us white people are on to something when it comes to rapping about college, we seem to have the hang of it down. Yes! epic win for us!
Making donations is great, and something that everyone should do just once and a while when they have the free time and money, or in my case, three months, and nine thousand dollars. Why would I want either of those two things back anyway not like they matter much to me, I mean who cares about three months of busting your ass to have it fall out in the end? I think I spent nine thousand on a pair of jeans once, and might have bought a dinner twice that much once maybe. Too bad those are lies. Let me make this a public service announcement so that none of you ever end up making the same ungrateful, and most worthless donation of your life: if you fall behind in a math class or any class for that matter just realize your not superman, and you can't do anything, drop it, make peace, and get out of there like you walked in on your Asian roommate watching
anime porn (believe me its weird, especially when his first reaction is to rip off his 3D Avatar glasses he was watching it with and try to act normal). Anything you watch besides Avatar with 3D glasses can't be normal, but hey I guess whatever floats your boat right? Maybe not... but hey when you live in the dorms watching 3D
anime porn with the Avatar glasses actually seems normal. Believe me you have no idea what the hell people will amaze you with daily. Stumble into the dorm bathrooms at 4 am drunk, and you'll smack yourself in the face to make sure what in front of you is not a dream. Keith Richards through all his drug trips throughout the years has not experienced something so profound, and so utterly confusing to this date, remember this is the same man quoted as saying in response to modern drugs, "I really think the qualities gone down, and your talking to a person who knows his drugs." Enough with our favorite Rolling Stone Mr. Richards, and back to a lesson learned. Listen closely and understand this, when your professor assigns homework as frequently and as numerously as Jenna Jameson gives out
blowjobs, run, and run far. The problem began on the first night, in midst of my enthusiasm for my new classes. As I opened my newly bought text books, which in college become your most prized and expensive possessions, I realized that the math one could be viewed online. Well let me tell you this do not even bother getting excited about this, just buy the book because with all the wonderful and awesome things the Internet has given us online textbooks does not fall in that category just cut down a tree and buy that sum bitch textbook. That was mistake number one, I never looked at the textbook online, to be honest I couldn't tell you who wrote it. If you want to freak yourself out do this, google the name on your textbook, and then you'll realize why the same teacher who wears socks and sandals, turtlenecks in every color in the middle of summer, and has glasses that even
Salvino D'
Armate would claim to be out of date, gets off every time they mention or talk about the writer of the textbook for your class. (For those of you who are not down with history, and that's all good
Salvino D'
Armate invented glasses in 1284.) You realize shortly after that they are each others only two compatible matches on match.com, and well cry, but then you realize that you have no compatible match's, and now feel like an idiot for laughing at those
Birkenstocks and toe socks. Mistake number two, do not assume that Math 120 or for that matter
Pre-
Calc will be similar to what it was in high school, or you'll be about as pissed as a fat kid pulling up to McDonald's only to find that the skinny
blonde girl with braces in front of him ate the last two apple pies. Lastly demand the right to a translator for your quiz section, to this day I could not tell you how to pronounce my
TA's name. If you do all these things I cannot guarantee you success, but you will have yourself a start in the right direction towards earning a GPA, something I did not accomplish. Yeah it's true the kid who took five AP classes in high school, passed all the AP exams, had a cumulative 3.7 high school GPA, and got a 3.5 his first quarter in college at what is considered one of the best public Universities in the nation, and a public ivy, received the grade of a 0.0 in Math 120. Cool Right? not until you realize that it is about as cool as going to scrap booking conventions, buying workout equipment off the TV, and living in your parents basement until you are old enough to collect Social Security.
Badass Right? For a second I thought I might feel like a
badass or a rebel after I saw the grade, it was like my version of saying "Fu@k the Man!" It was actually quite to the contrary, and as I put it I felt like a special Olympian running against
Usian Bolt, in no was it far, and well not obviously politically correct, but that's about how I felt. So next time you fail your first midterm ask yourself this, "Do I like taking my money to bonfires and throwing it in like throwing $1 bills at a strippers?" Hopefully you do not, but hey who doesn't like a little fun? Get out of the class and save yourself the time and effort.
